A Ceremony Built on Words That You Believe In

A wedding, as all Life Transition Celebrations, are public announcements of personal and spiritual commitments. In my role as clergy/facilitator, my task is to present YOUR spiritual agreement to the community.

My training is in many different traditions and philosophies. I work with couples to insure that spiritual understanding and traditions are acknowledged, represented and honored as they forge a new path in the foundation of their lives.

Specializing in Honoring:

Traditional and Non-Traditional Unions 
Step-Family Unions
Different Faiths/Traditions
Conservative and Creative Expressions

When two people come together in marriage it is an awesome time because IN the Unity of the Holy Spirit…Enmeshed in the CORE of the Spirit of Love…we touch the Divine…We are engulfed …surrounded by…cradled in the HEART of LOVE….and there is nothing that could be more exquisite…. more whole or complete and the capacity for EVERYTHING… understanding, compassion, growth, opportunity …is boundless….

And then the ceremony is over…and there you stand…two very nice people… with your hopes and fears and expectations…standing very vulnerable…..

And NOW the MARRIAGE BEGINS……The desire to MEET the EXPECTATIONS of the OTHER MUST PASS….this is the trap of short engagements… when the focus is on…the hoping that the partner will want you…will find you attractive…will marry you… and here you are ..MARRIED….

Some people live in the hoping… they are always hoping for the next phase…the next going out and purchasing "stuff" for the next event…the living from crisis to crisis….fixing this..fixing that…preparing for this…preparing for that…the taking care of this…..the taking care of that… …...I am reminded of Jesus when he said to Martha..to stop preparing…to stop being anxious…..to come and be with Him…to share in His company…to enjoy His presence (Luke 10:40-2)….And so you must also Learn to Stay in the Moment..to enjoy each other…to allow the other to love you…to just be WITH you…..

It sounds so easy…yet our culture ..our society is built on distractions …. our kids suffer from "attention deficit disorder"…the inability to focus…we are bombarded with colors and ads and pictures…with people who want to tell us what to think and how to think and what to think about and then there are crises to divert our attention…and people targeted for us to be afraid of…we are a very anxious society…Do you know that 14 MILLION people in the United States have used Prozac, an antidepressant…because as affluent as we are…there is an underlying dread…and what are we dreading? What are we afraid to hear or say or be…and I will tell you that if you will STOP and allow yourselves to be exactly who you are and allow your partner to love YOU…if you will learn to do this together…no planning…no wishing… no performing…NO TV…..just being….you will build an awesome future because your foundation is strong,…… built on trusting yourselves with each other…..celebrating your time together…by living it…NOT BUYING IT….but BEING IN IT TOGETHER…and knowing that who you ARE is yourselves and for each other ….

Homework: Spend 15 minutes a day with your spouse…just holding hands…taking a walk..without talking..or planning…or fixing…or helping…..just quiet time…to be together and do let me know the result….thanks

Namaste (The Spirit in me... bows to the Spirit in you…

Photo courtesy of Richard Sasso

THE PERFECT BRIDE

Celebrating love is an incredible experience. Working with couples to express the richness of their hearts is a gift that I thank God for every day. I have become a part of the lives of many families and every one I have married has indeed become a part of my family… On my site you will find lots of picture…even more grace my walls at home….Most important for me is the fact that couples I meet affirm my belief that in this world of horrifying newspaper events and trite television shows... people have the ability to truly care…truly commit their lives to those they love. I am excited for them. I believe in Love.

Last night I had the pleasure of spending time with the perfect bride. I was invited to the rehearsal dinner because she wanted me to spend time with her family and their friends…wanted to share them with me. In between the excellent chicken wings and the chocolate covered cookies… she pulled up a chair next to me….and said, “Tomorrow will be easy because I already have everything that is important. I am loved by the man of my dreams. He is thoughtful and caring and works through situations with me. I have my wonderful family, who I did not always appreciate…but I would not be here today unless they stuck by me and helped me through some incredibly difficult times and I am so grateful to them for it” She went on to say, “I used to think things had to be a certain way…I would not have the right amount of money or the right car…or the right dress…and how would I get it all? Lately I have realized that I have everything and I have no desire to want for anything more…There is nothing ‘More' when you have EVERYTHING. …..If I just hold on to this thought, I am amazed that life flows so beautifully for me.”

It is a teaching of Jesus Christ that the kingdom of heaven is within. It is a teaching of the Buddha that freedom from craving is an inconceivable sense of inner peace, a sense of oneness and completion. (Lama Surya Das) Every religion has a way of saying this. Every true lover has experienced this.

All of us have had times of pain and suffering, times of feeling inadequate, of feeling frightened, times of being overwhelmed…..times of wishing this period of our lives …this trial would be over….STOP…….just for a moment…breathe …allow the trees to nurture you….feel the force of God surrounding you…know that where ever you are ..you are loved…You are a child of God…whatever name you call that force…what ever face that Energy wears… It is pure LOVE and you are a part of it….breathe and allow the Essence, the Spirit… of God to become a guide, a mentor, a friend. And Celebrate the power you have to be a conduit…a reflection of this Force. There is no battle…there is only Allowing…You can pray for Love to be the Center of Your Life…”Ask and you Will receive. Knock and it Will be opened”….That door to be opened is the door of your heart.

Remember my perfect bride who loves and is loved….and knows that she HAS IT ALL….

Namaste, Rev. Ellyn

Thanks to the wonderful couples who have sent their pictures... wonderful memories!